I must apologize. I’ve been remiss in my “duties” when it comes to blogging. I’d been using a blog bot that finds things that I’m interested in, and posts them under my account. This was cool, because reading my blog was exciting for me, since I didn’t know what I had blogged about. But this, like most things in this world, just got too mechanical. It just wasn’t me. So I’ve gone through my blog, and deleted hundreds of posts, saving only what is actually ME. From now on, I’ll try and keep this updated myself. I’ll work to come up with interesting and engaging posts, so that you, what few followers of mine there are, actually hear from me. I look forward to engaging with you. Personally.
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First of all, your children will hate me for this post. What are Instagram, Keek, Kik, SnapChat, and Vine, and are they safe for use by young children? The short answer is, they are texting and file sharing applications, and absolutely not. There is simply no method by which the usage of these applications may be properly monitored, and these applications all expose your child to potential predators, and an overwhelming amount of highly inappropriate content. Almost all of them offer geo location (a geographical tag that contains the child’s latitude and longitude, and allows fairly precise location within five to ten feet) and location tagging, which make it extremely easy for predators to locate children. Coupled with the fact that these are generally selfies (images of themselves taken by your child), It offers would be predators a sort of digital smorgasbord down to location, name and friends faces and names. It is highly recommended that they not be allowed at all. It is worth noting, that of all of the listed applications, Instagram is the safest. Their moderation is higher than the others, and content of an inappropriate nature requires creative searching to locate. It can also be flagged, and is almost always removed if truly objectionable. But as detailed below, its cross posting on other sites make it dangerous as well. As always, the choice is yours as a parent, but when the stakes are so high and the consequences potentially disasterous, why would you?
Instagram: A public photo sharing application for Android, iOS and Windows devices which enables the user to upload photos from their mobile devices camera. Files are by default, shared publicly on Instagram, and may also be located/cross-posted on other social networks such as Pictacular which enables you to search “nearby”. Using the search, I quickly located four young girls from my church, two of which had geo location on their photo, and all of which had “tagged” their location. There are privacy settings available within Instagram, but it limits your privacy to followers that are approved. While this is better than nothing, it requires you as a parent to manually approve each and every follower that requests to follow your child. For most children, this “breaks the usability” and often leads to dishonesty in which they create a separate account that they log into away from home, and log into the “dummy” account when at home. If you are going to allow your child to use this application, it is highly recommended that you require them to turn off geo location as well as insist that they not tag their location at any time. This application does not require a working SIM card. It runs on Wifi. It is advisable that parents review ConnectSafely’s PDF on Instagram Safety.
Keek: A public video sharing application for Android, iOS and Windows devices which enables users to upload videos from their mobile devices video camera. It is possible to block other users, and turn off comments. The problem is that anyone can subscribe to your child’s updates, view all of their posted content ,and find out where they live using the built in Geo Location. There are presently no privacy settings available and there is no method by which adult content may be blocked. This app does not offer any parental controls. There is a great deal of pornography available (as I discovered within moments of signing up and browsing the application) on the application with no way to block it. Additionally, multiple studies indicate that the greater percentage of posters 16 and below are subscribed to by adult males over the age of thirty. DO NOT allow your child to use this application. This application does not require a working SIM card. It runs on Wifi.
Kik: An instant messaging application for Android, iOS and Windows devices which children use in place of SMS/Text Messaging. It has the same capabilities as SMS/Text Messaging, enabling users to share photos and text messages with other users. The application scans the physical devices address book and finds other individuals using the application. It has no parental controls, and no privacy settings. There is also a great deal of inappropriate content (Within moments of signing up and signing in, I received multiple spam messages, several of which were sexually explicit) sent in chat messages, whether you ask for it or not. It would be best to prevent your child from using this application. This application does not require a working SIM card. It runs on Wifi.
SnapChat: An instant messaging / photo sharing application for Android, iOS and Windows devices which claims to have auto destruct capabilities. In theory, an image is taken and then after the set amount of time (up to ten seconds) the image becomes inaccessible. The application is being used for sexting (trading of sexually explicit photos). The photos however, do not self destruct as they are supposed to. They are saved in a folder on the users phone, which can be hacked and the photos retrieved. This is done on a fairly regular basis, and the photos of hacked SnapChat accounts are often posted online for all the world to see. Additionally, it is extremely easy for users who receive photos to take screenshots before they become inaccessible, and then share these “private”, “self destructing” photos online. Make no mistake, it only takes one screenshot to destroy your child’s prospects for certain jobs, colleges etc., and for bullying to start at school. It has and continues to be a cause of suicide in teens. Lastly, there are multiple websites and Facebook groups that allow your child to share their SnapChat username to get more “friends”. The problem is that most of the registered subscribers to these sites and groups are adult males. There are NO privacy settings, and NO parental controls. It is strongly advised that you not allow your child to make use of this application. This application does not require a working SIM card. It runs on Wifi. If you insist on allowing your child to use this application, see ConnectSafely’s PDF safety guide for Snapchat.
Vine: A public video sharing application for Android, iOS and Windows devices using the mobile devices camera. A short video may be taken, then shared to vine servers, and shared on Facebook. There are no parental controls available, nor are there privacy controls. Posters using iOS devices may be tracked easily using built in Geo Location. There are no methods to filter. There is a great deal of pornography available on the application with no way to block it. As with all of the above apps, parental attempts to control usage leads to dishonesty in which the children will create a separate account that they log into away from home, and log into the “dummy” account when at home. Again, an overwhelming percentage of older adult males are the primary subscribers to both young boys, and young girls. DO NOT allow your child to use this application. The over availability of pornographic material is beyond parental control. This application does not require a working SIM card. It runs on Wifi.
Whisper/Secret: If your child has an application called Whisper or Secret, REMOVE it and DO NOT allow them to continue using it. Check for it frequently, and check their app store install history. Both applications are used to broadcast “secrets” such as crushes or bad things that your child may have done. The entire purpose of the applications are to broadcast secrets, and children may be tempted to fabricate very bad things in order to get “hearts”. Law enforcement is known to monitor these apps because of their nature, and your child may get more attention than they bargain for. They are supposedly anonymous, but they are NOT SECURE and they are NOT PRIVATE. They also have chat functions which predators use to convince younger children to meet up, pretending to be young and the same sex, or using photos of young opposite sex to lure children. These apps are NOT safe. The images are public and can contain secure location information. They are known to be used by child predators. Children are also able to find drug dealers using this app, as well as being exposed to absolute filth and pornography. There is no option on either of these apps which allows for safe use whatsoever. JUST DON’T.
If you have any questions regarding these applications, or how to change your child’s device settings to prevent geo location, feel free to email me using the “contact me” link. Be sure to include the device model and operating system. Also remember, that no matter how hard you try to protect your children, there is no failsafe. They will find a way around your guards and blocks to do what their friends are doing. The best thing that you can do is to stay involved, and actively keep an eye on what they are doing on their phones. Be sure to check out ConnectSafely’s guide to Children and Mobile Phones.
I have died several times, over the course of my thirty-five years. The first time, as an infant. I remember after being revived, seeing everything blurrily through the oxygen tent. Another time, as a toddler, I drowned. Another time as a teen, I fell from a second story roof. The list goes on. Death has courted me since birth. Each time, heart had ceased. There was no brain activity. I was physically dead. And guess what? There was nothing. During the time I was dead, I didn’t float out of my body. I didn’t hear people trying to revive me. I didn’t see a light. No dead family members appeared to me. There was no heaven. I received no vision of hell. Not one single time that I died, did I see anything at all. I simply ceased to be. A priest that I consulted at the time, Father Daniel, encouraged me to remain steadfast in the faith. He explained that had I received any visions, or seen the afterlife, in truth, the Divine would have been removing my freedom of choice. Regardless of any justification, the nothingness still terrifies me. Sleeping terrifies me because it reminds me, every time I close my eyes, of the nothingness that awaits. Each time I go to sleep I wonder as the darkness envelopes me and I mentally slip away, will this be the last time? Will I see another sunrise? What about my family?
Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? Truthfully, I don’t know. I like to think that I believe that there is, and I go through the motions… Yes, I am faithful. Following a code of laws that I believe to be Divine. Attending religious services. Praying and confessing my sins, trying to do better, living according to a code that the rest of the world views as silly and antiquated. I am kind to others. I force myself to like everyone by killing that judgmental little voice. I do my best to not get angry. I give my tithes and offerings. I read the Holy Book, the Word of the Divine inscribed by the hand of man, His messengers. Is it really His word? I honestly don’t know. I like to think that I believe, but do I? The fact is, I am filled with doubt. All I know is what I can perceive with my senses, and even my senses betray me.
If the afterlife is real, as I like to think that I believe, what hope do I have? Will the angels at the moment of my final death draw swords and prevent me from uttering my final declaration of faith? Will demons scratch and grasp at me as I attempt to ascend? Will the accuser be able to pile enough in the scales to have me declared a completely wicked person? If I go down to punishment, will there be enough silver remaining once the dross is cleared for me to rise up again? If the afterlife is not real, I leave no legacy. I have done nothing worthy of praise. I have accomplished nothing worthy of memory. I have failed my ancestors and their legacy. I have not sacrificed. I have not gone without. I have been selfish and have only sought after my own comfort. I will go down to nothing, to darkness, I will cease to be, and my brief time upon this planet will have been wasted. A life filled with labour and affliction. Seeking after vanity and comfort. Wandering through life, only to find that my final destination is destruction. Either way, do I have anything to look forward to? On the one hand, a glimmer of hope, the minuscule chance of reward for an unworthy sinner, on the other, the end of it all. What is it about me that any Creator, any Divine, if such truly awaits me, would find worthy of consideration? If I do not sink into darkness, but instead go to judgment, what merit accompanies me in my favour? I am… unworthy.
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I want to share with you, what made me who I am today. I was speaking about it with a friend, and realized that I had never bothered to inform anyone. In truth, it never seemed important to me. It’s just who I am, and I never gave it a second thought.
I started a company several (it seems like a lifetime) years ago which created advertisements and menu boards using flat screen televisions. Now everywhere you go, you see menus at fast food that have the television screens that change, or Old Navy with its screens that advertise their products, in malls.. all over the place really. I did that. I made buckets full of money, but wanted more and more. I lost everything, including my own sanity. It was a dark time. I was young and stupid, and only cared about money. I wore $5,000.00 suits, drove a Mercedes and thought I was better than everyone. I was an a**hole, and I deserved worse than what I got, in the end. I should still be suffering for the way I treated people. I destroyed relationships without a care, drank like a sailor, and my whole life spiraled out of control.
What changed it all? What made me who I am today? Simple! I died (don’t ask how, that’s a different story), and saw nothing. There was nothing at all. I was clinically dead for more than ten minutes. I should have had severe brain damage from lack of oxygen. From what I understand, I just spontaneously started coughing and began breathing on my own. I don’t remember much from the time, only that I was absolutely terrified upon my… resurrection, because I had been dead, but there was no light, no family to greet me… no heaven, no hell, no nothing.
For a few weeks, nothing mattered. What was the point? But then I got a wake up call. I was told that I should still be dead, and that at very least, my brain should be damaged to the point where I should be bedridden and under the care of others until I die. I was told to stop being pathetic and to start being grateful. I was sent to a cleric, and confided my experience, my feelings of it all being pointless, a waste, and my desire to just die and be done with it all. The cleric said “I don’t have answers, but I can tell you this. G-d didn’t show you anything at all, because that would have destroyed your free choice. But he preserved your mind and raised you from the dead. Isn’t that enough to thank him by serving him at least an hour every week?”
I started out slow, examined my life and my deeds, and began to go on the Sabbath. It became natural. I started going weekday mornings. I felt happy for the first time. Started praying regularly. It was relaxing and refreshing. I wanted more and more. For a while, I won’t lie… I just went through the actions. Then the more I learned, I served because I was terrified. Eventually, however; I served because I was grateful. For each and every breath. Now I am grateful because of my children who would have never been here, and who I would never have gotten to meet and to see grow.
But to be perfectly honest… the thought of dying still terrifies me. The separation from the body is the most painful thing ever. And I’m scared that when I die for good, there may be nothing like before, but this time it will be forever. Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means a religious freak, but I do believe, and I do attend services because of that belief. I do try to live my life according to the teachings and tenants of my faith, and when I fail, I get up and try again. It isn’t so much faith that drives me, as hope. I have hope. I don’t just “trust” that G-d exists and that heaven is real. I am not to that level yet. I just “hope that it is so” and try to live accordingly.
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